Woody the Cowboy Doll Experiences Strange Things
by Jhazkrast
Summary: Strange things are happening to Woody, and no doubt about it.


"Nigga why you playin' with toys, this some kiddy shit," Tyrone observed. They were chilling in Andy's room, and Andy had been about to show Tyrone his Woody doll's pull-string function, but embarrassedly set it back down on his desk instead. "Yo, s'your sister still here? We alone, right?"  
"Molly?" Andy asked, and shook his head. "No... she went shopping with my mom."  
Tyrone pushed Andy aside, and threw his backpack down heavily upon the desk. Woody happened to be facing the wall, and couldn't see the backpack himself.  
"Check this shit," Tyrone said, and unzipped the bag. There came the noise of something being pulled out, and then dropped flat upon the desk. Woody hoped Andy would pick him back up so he got the chance to see it for himself. Could Tyrone have pulled out a new toy?  
"H-Hey," Andy stammered, "wh-what is that, Tyrone? We can't... that isn't... d-do you want to pull Woody's string?"  
"Nigga fuck your gay ass cowboy doll," Tyrone rejected the offer, "this the good shit son, check this."  
Andy gasped. Then there was silence for a while, except for the sound of turning pages, and Andy's continued gasping. Woody recognized them as the same kind of gasps Andy had made when he first played alone with Buzz, and was very agitated now.  
"Wh-What is that thing she's got?" Andy whispered, as if discussing something sacred. Tyrone chuckled.  
"Nigga that a man's toy," he said sagely. "Lil' Molly got one. Yo mom got one. Nigga, you and yo gay ass toys, I bet you got one!" All kinds of things began racing through Woody's mind now. By the sound of it, the boys were leafing through a magazine – perhaps a store catalogue – but what kind of toys were they admiring? A toy that mom and Molly had? Why would Andy be interested in a girls toy?  
"Hey, I do not," Andy protested, "nothing like those!" Another pause followed, and several more pages were turned in silence, before Andy asked a question. "Um... what are they called? I... I like looking at them." Yeah, Woody begged in his still silence, what are they called Tyrone, tell me what these super girl toys are called.  
"A'ight," Tyrone said, and then stalled for a moment. "But... f'I tell you, you gotta let me show you how it works, too. I'll show you with them cowboy toys, yeah?"  
"Yeah, sure, you can play with them!" Andy agreed, "now tell me!"  
Tyrone cleared his throat importantly. "They's called pussies. Lotta words for that shit, but pussy's the best one, nigga."

Pussies? Cat toys? Woody couldn't understand. Andy was more of a dog kid; in fact, he was a dinosaur kid. Cats and dogs didn't even come into the question.  
"Why are they called pussies?" Andy questioned. "They're kind of hairy, I guess... but they look nothing like a cat to me..."  
"Because big dogs like me be chasin' pussies!" Tyrone explained, "now lemme show you what they for."  
Before Woody knew it, he was being scooped up in Tyrone's rough fingers. The room span around him in a blur, and it happened so fast he didn't have time to check out the magazine on the desk. The next moment, Tyrone was sitting obnoxiously with his shoes on the bed, while Andy stood lamely by, and now Jessie was in Tyrone's other hand. He held Woody and Jessie close together, face to face. A great excitement danced in Jessie's painted eyes, so eager to be played with, but Woody had a bad feeling.  
"A'ight nigga this how we do," Tyrone declared, and then began thrusting Woody's and Jessie's crotch areas together. "Yeah take it, bitch!" Usually, Woody was very good at being played with, and could sync his imagination perfectly with a kid to envision what they saw. Right now though, he was at a loss. Were he and Jessie supposed to be fighting?  
"Take it? Ohhh, I think I get it," Andy said, pointing at the scene with realization, "my... my thingy's supposed to go in there?"  
"Nigga pussies is made for dick, NIGGA!" Tyrone exclaimed excitedly, and then flipped Jessie into a different position. Woody was relieved, because he understood what Tyrone was trying to accomplish here. Clearly, he was using Jessie as a wheel-barrow, and Woody was supposed to be a farmer pushing her along. Not the most imaginative use of them, but a resourceful one. "'cept for lesbians, then it be like this!"  
Woody was flung away, landing on the bedroom floor. From his new location, he was just able to see that Tyrone now held Bo Peep, and was rubbing her face against Jessie's. Were they supposed to be kissing each other's cheeks? Maybe whispering in each other's ears?  
"What's a lesbinum?" Andy asked, and Tyrone let out a loud laugh. "Girls that kiss each other?"  
"Yeah that it, you dumb white muffuga," Tyrone said, and tossed Jessie and Bo Peep away. Jessie landed softly nearby Woody, but Bo Peep didn't.

"Oh, no!" Andy said, looking miserably at the smashed china all over the floor. Woody observed Bo's broken pieces with a helpless smile on his face. Bo was dead. Bo was dead. Bo was dead.  
"Nigga that was a girl's toy nigga, I just did you a favor nigga, should'a broke that cowgirl too nigga," was all Tyrone had to say for himself, already standing up from the bed and stretching as if nothing had happened. Bo was dead. Bo was dead.  
"He... hehe... yeah," Andy mumbled, "just a girls toys. Um, Tyrone... where did you buy that magazine? Do they sell it at Al's?"  
"Nah I stole it from my pop," Tyrone replied, "c'mon I'll show you where that broke ass nigga live, there'll be more."  
"All right!" Andy said excitedly, and then he and Tyrone were gone, the bedroom door slamming shut behind them. Bo was dead. Everyone sprang into action right away. Buzz leapt from the night-stand, Slinky emerged from beneath the bed, and Jessie picked herself up from the floor. Screams of horror came from those who hadn't yet seen Bo's shattered corpse, but the ones who had already witnessed the scene instead looked carefully at Woody. Minutes passed like seconds, and Woody was completely numb. All the while he gazed at his lover's dead fragments. One of the pieces was that of a part of Bo's face – one of her eyes, and a part of her smile – and Woody stared at that piece the longest.  
"...Woody?" came the timid voice of Rex. It wasn't the first attempt at gaining Woody's attention, but finally, he lifted his head and saw the great crowd before him. Every toy, watching him expectantly. Waiting for words. Maybe waiting for orders. Woody looked deep inside himself, searched for something appropriate to say, and for the first time in his life found nothing. In spite of the live audience, all he really felt watching him was Bo's dead eye.

"It happens," Woody muttered in a low voice, barely audible, "china toys break, it happens." Then he lowered the rim of his hat over his eyes, and skulked off into a corner. Buzz and Jessie glanced at one another, and hurried after him.  
"Hey," Jessie said softly, reaching out, but Woody kept his back to her. Then a stronger, plastic hand came down upon his shoulder.  
"Woody," Buzz began in a bracing tone, "I'm... I'm so sorry."  
"Hey, we mourn for china toys as soon as we meet them," Woody murmured quickly, shrugging with his arms crossed, "Bo said not to be sad when it happened." Buzz left his hand on Woody's shoulder for a little longer, then took it away. With Woody still keeping his back on them, Jessie and Buzz looked desperately at one another, mouths opening and then shutting without fruit.  
"M-Maybe," Jessie stammered, and then lit up, "hey! Maybe mom'll glue her back together! Y'all remember that one toy, one'a Molly's, who got cracked in half? Then mom got some glue, an' she..." Jessie had trailed off, because Buzz had been shaking his head. "...well... maybe..."  
"How about that Tyrone kid?" Woody asked suddenly. Jessie and Buzz latched onto the new topic gratefully.  
"Seemed like a happy child," Buzz responded, "I couldn't understand when he talked, though."  
"But you saw how he played, right? With me and Jessie, and... and Bo..."  
"I couldn't rightly tell what we were s'posed t'be doin'," Jessie admitted, "he weren't as good as Andy at playin'."  
"Yeah, you got that right," Woody said, and finally turned about. His face was hard. "He's a bad influence on Andy." Jessie glanced aside nervously, but Buzz held Woody's gaze.  
"You're better than this, Woody," said the space ranger, "you can't blame a breaker. I know you're in shock, but you know that."

"It's not about Bo," Woody said simply, which stunned Buzz into silence. No, it wasn't about Bo. Things began coming together in Woody's cotton mind. He watched the other toys for a few moments, who were still gathered around Bo's pieces, knowing they couldn't move them and so without anything to actually do. Woody hated having nothing to do, especially at a time like this. "He laughed, you know. Andy looked at Bo's pieces and laughed. Called her a girls toy." This was a very uncomfortable thing to say. Jessie looked down at her shoes, and Buzz went to rub the back of his head, forgetting his helmet was up.  
"Whatever toys they were looking at in that magazine are bad news," Woody declared, and gazed up at the tall desk, where Tyrone had left his backpack behind. Surely the magazine was still up there too. "Cat toys. For some reason, Andy was really interested in them."  
"He sure sounded that way," Buzz nodded, though he looked confused. "What are you getting at, Woody? What's wrong with cat toys?"  
"Bo meant nothing to him," Woody explained, "he was so excited about those cat toys, it didn't matter to him that she broke. What if he actually buys one of those cat toys, Buzz? Who'll break next?" Without waiting for a response, Woody strode over to the desk with purpose, and began climbing a leg. This was better. Some feeling had returned to his empty insides, now that he had something to do. He'd make sure no cat toy was ever welcomed into this room.  
"Um... Woody," Jessie said hesitantly, watching from the floor as Woody neared the desktop, "don't... aren't you overreacting?"  
"Just looking out for us," Woody found himself saying, as he clambered over the tables edge and onto the surface, "anything I can find out about these cat toys from this magazine will be good. It'll help us prepare for them. We can chase them out before Andy breaks another of us."  
"But it weren't Andy who broke Bo," Jessie reasoned, though from the floor, she couldn't see Woody any more. Woody didn't respond. He was standing over the magazine now, taking in the sight of the pictures. A grave silence filled the room, every toy huddled by the legs of the table, staring up and waiting for Woody to reveal what he'd seen. After a while, his head popped out, and he had a grim look on his face as he addressed the crowd.  
"We've gotta speak with mom's toys."


End file.
